Close Please enter your Username and Password
Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
Password reset link sent to
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service
Still not a member of BDSM Personals?
Sign up for FREE now, so you can view XandraNJ's photos, and thousands more!
3,564 Members Online NOW!*   6,317 New Photos this week!   732,369 Active Members!*

XandraNJ  
Friends and LTR Only
 Gold Member  

Last Visit: Yesterday
Member Since: August 14, 2011

Only members can view photos.
Click here to become a member.

Information:
Gender:   Woman
Birthdate:   February 10, 1978
(46 years old)
Astrological Compatibility
Lives in:   Morris County, New Jersey, United States
Relocate?:   No
Height:   5 ft 3 in / 160-162 cm
Body Type:   Average
Smoking:   I'm a non-smoker
Drinking:   I don't drink at all
Drugs:   I don't use drugs
Education:   Some college
Race:   Other
Sexual Orientation:   Straight
Speaks:   English
Hair Color:   Brown
Hair Length :   Short
Eye Color :   Brown
Glasses or Contacts :   None


LifeStyle
I think about ALT lifestyle:   Sometimes
Role:   Not applicable
Level of Experience:   Whole adult life
Dress:   Casual
Social Orientation :   Moderate
Safe Sex:   Yes
Demeanor:   Average

Personal
Body Decorations : Earring(s)
Breast Size: 40 / 90 DD (E, if no DD)
Pubic Hair: Prefer not to say
Marital Status: Attached
Have Children: No
Want Children : Yes
Occupation: n/a
Religion: Jewish

swinger



   
46 year old Woman in Morris County, New Jersey, United States Looking For: Men or Women

Profile for XandraNJ
I have been on hiatus for a few years now. I have spent that time getting to know myself better, convalescing, and growing. I am ready for true blue friends, the right partner and a family. I am open to switching depending on the kink, but I am not as into power dynamics as I used to be. I will most likely start with rope bondage since that seems to be the seat of my kinky soul...but fire play is a close competitor. If there is any possibility of D/s, it will be a relationship that is nurturing, supportive and loving. No aggression or punishment at all. I have been in the lifestyle for about two decades now. Nearly half that time, I have been a part of my local kink community. I am a demi-sexual, a sapiosexual, and I am into BDSM for the connection, the spiritual and mental aspects of the practice. Emotional Intelligence is essential to me. If we are going to have a meaningful conversation, you should not only know what soft skills are, but you should also practice them. A bit more about me -> I believe love conquers hate and that a positive attitude will get you further than being a cynic. I am genuine in character and believe that aligning my thoughts with my words and actions equals integrity. I believe in treating our only home, Earth, with the respect that she deserves and that goes for all of the Earthlings that reside here as well. In short, I have a modern hippie heart and would love it if you do too. *(Additional aspirations include but not limited to kayaking, dancing, cushy camping, continuing to work on being mentally, physically and spiritually fit, and finding a friend to support these dreams and more.)* [if254 1]

My Ideal Person:
NOTE: If my picture is why you want to contact me, I promise we don't have enough in common. I am only interested in friendships with no further expectations. If the friendship becomes something more, we can talk about romantic and kink matters at that time but not before. That's what it means to me to put people first and kinks second. I will not respond well to anyone who refers to me with a term of endearment such as babe, beautiful, hey sexy, hot lips, etc. This is a form of non-consensual objectification and an excellent way to get you blocked.

As Rupi Kaur wrote, "I want to apologize to all the women
I have called pretty before I've called them intelligent or brave.
I am sorry I made it sound as though something as simple as what you're born with is the most you have to be proud of when your spirit has crushed mountains. From now on, I will say things like *you are resilient, or you are extraordinary*. Not because I don't think you're pretty but because you are so much more than that."

I will chat with just about anyone, even if you don't use spell check, use text speak with wild abandon, and show how proud you are of your laziness by using as many abbreviations as possible. However, know that none of those things is a turn-on for me. Our interaction will go no further than the chat we are having if that is the case. I am currently separated. We are living as roommates. This will change as soon as it is feasible. I am available to date but will not consider anyone who chooses to date in secret.

About You: You should be a kind, compassionate, and understanding soul who can put your ego aside to make way for humility. You should be actively eco-friendly, care where your food comes from, and be anti-speciesist or at least on the path to achieving that outlook. My view is that if you identify as dominant or a Top or anywhere in between, for that matter, it doesn't exempt you from being a considerate, caring human being.

I'm keeping the door open here in the event that there are some fantastic, local, emotionally intellectual kinksters out there for friendship with no expectations or pressure. If something more comes of that, then great, but all outcomes are learning opportunities. And I will be grateful for them. I believe that if relationships are to evolve, they should do so organically and over time. (i.e., "overtime" can mean six months, a year, or more. If you are bothered by this, you're probably in a rush, and ergo, not a good match for me.)


Members near Morris County, New Jersey, United States
View More Listings