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WHEELIE BIN 2018-04-17
A dustman is going along a street picking up the wheelie
bins and emptying them into his dustcart. He gets to one house where the bin hasn't been left out
so he has a quick look for it, (unusual I know), goes round
the back but still can't see it, so he knocks on the door.
There's no answer so he knocks again. Eventually a Japanese bloke answers... "Harro",
says the ...
1 評論, 22 瀏覽次數,
8 票
,3.01 分數
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Blowjobs 2018-04-13
A husband comes home to find his wife packing a suitcase
<br><br>
"Where are you going?" He asked <br><br>
"Las Vegas" she said' " You can get
$400 for a blowjob there, so i figured i would get paid for
something i give you for free" <br><br>
"Hold on" He said " im coming too, i want
to see you survive on only ...
1 評論, 20 瀏覽次數,
5 票
,3.14 分數
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Disappointed 2018-04-09
A teacher asked her 6th grade class: “Who can tell me,
which human organ becomes 10 times bigger when it’s stimulated?”
<br><br>
Maria stood up, bright red and angry, and said “How can
you ask such a question? I’m telling my parents and they’re
going to get you fired!” <br><br>
The teacher was shocked by the outburst, but decided to
ignore it. She asked the ...
1 評論, 33 瀏覽次數,
9 票
,2.57 分數
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A drover in the Northern Territories 2018-04-08
A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side.
<br><br>
He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished
patrons. 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open
this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside.
<br><br>
Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. <br><br>
'Then he'll open his mouth and I'll ...
0 評論, 15 瀏覽次數,
5 票
,4.45 分數
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Good Ears 2018-03-28
A young man moved into his first new apartment on his own,
and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While
there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment
next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe. The boy smiled at
the young woman and she started a conversation with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious
that she had nothing else on. The poor broke into ...
1 評論, 45 瀏覽次數,
7 票
,4.06 分數
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:P pointless 2018-03-15
Baka la a derka derka
1 評論, 6 瀏覽次數,
2 票
,0.34 分數
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Vanilla Pudding Robbery 2018-03-13
This is just too funny not to share. Excerpted from an article
which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery
on March 2. Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts
at disabling the security system got underway immediately.
The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes
filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see
hundreds of smaller safes ...
0 評論, 32 瀏覽次數,
9 票
,4.07 分數
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Secret to marriage 2018-03-12
There was a couple who were married for 20 years, and every
time they had sex the husband always insisted on shutting
off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was
stupid. She figured she would break him of the crazy habit. So one
night, while they were in the middle of doing it, she turned
on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding
a dildo. ...
0 評論, 24 瀏覽次數,
4 票
,2.47 分數
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TWO STRINGS 2018-03-06
These two strings walk up to a bar. The first string walks
in and orders and the bartender throws him out and yells
"I don't serve strings in this bar..."
<br><br>
The other string ruffs himself up on the street and curls
up and orders... The bartender shouts, "Hey, didn't
you hear what I told your buddy?" <br><br>
String says "Yeah." ...
0 評論, 28 瀏覽次數,
8 票
,2.32 分數
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A LITTLE BRITISH HUMOUR 2018-03-05
The train was quite crowded, so a U. S. Marine walked the
entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left
was taken by a well> dressed, middle-aged, French
woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may
I have that seat?' The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular
'Americans> are so rude. My little Fifi is using
that seat.' The ...
1 評論, 35 瀏覽次數,
10 票
,4.78 分數
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The Vicar's Salary. 2018-03-02
The local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger
congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within
the congregation. No one wants him to leave. <br><br>
Mike Smith, who owns several car dealerships, stands up
and proclaims: 'If the Vicar stays, I will provide
him with a new Mercedes every year and his wife with a Honda
mini-van to transport their !' ...
1 評論, 32 瀏覽次數,
6 票
,1.94 分數
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Chicken Sandwich 2018-02-25
Don't eat chicken sandwiches, no matter what.....
<br><br>
A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and
became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They
discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all
through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't
a chicken ...
0 評論, 34 瀏覽次數,
11 票
,3.54 分數
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Toys 2018-02-24
What do boobs and toys have in common? <br><br>
They were both originally made for , but daddies end
up playing with them.
0 評論, 7 瀏覽次數,
3 票
,3.43 分數
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Mice 2018-02-18
Mice How Many Mice Does It Take To Screw In A Light Bulb? <br><br>
Now, wait a minute, before you scroll down for the answer, see if you can figure this out. Come on... Think about it! How many? <br><br>
All right, if you think you're really ready to give up... <br><br>
but you're going to be very embarrassed.. <br><br>
<br><br> ...
1 評論, 25 瀏覽次數,
5 票
,3.14 分數
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Frank 2018-02-17
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going
by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 'Perfect
timing. You're just like Frank.' Passenger: 'Who?' Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything
right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed
a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every
single time.' Passenger: ...
0 評論, 26 瀏覽次數,
7 票
,3.55 分數
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Truth 2018-02-16
A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences
between the sexes, and which one is better. <br><br>
Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s
something I have that you’ll never have!” <br><br>
The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly
true, and runs home crying. <br><br>
A while later, she comes running back with ...
0 評論, 18 瀏覽次數,
4 票
,2.86 分數
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Math class 2018-02-14
A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't
paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three
ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are
left?" <br><br>
Johnny says, "None." <br><br>
The teacher asks, "Why?" <br><br>
Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." ...
1 評論, 19 瀏覽次數,
6 票
,4.22 分數
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Primark Catalogue 2018-02-09
Two Thanetians were looking at a Primark Catalog and admiring the Models. <br><br>
One says to the other, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this Catalog?'
<br><br>
The second one replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful.
And look at the price!' The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying ...
0 評論, 25 瀏覽次數,
4 票
,1.69 分數
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Crosses 2018-02-08
What do you get if you cross a bullet and a tree with no leaves?
A cartridge in a bare tree. <br><br>
What would you get if you crossed a bat with a lly hearts
club? Lots of blind dates. <br><br>
What would you get if you crossed a donkey with an owl? A smart
ass which knows it all. <br><br>
What would you get if you crossed a mole with a porcupine?
A tunnel ...
1 評論, 17 瀏覽次數,
5 票
,2.49 分數
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Apples 2018-02-06
A bus driver and a doctor were in love with the same women
<br><br>
The bus driver had to leave for week and before he left he gave is love 7 apples
1 評論, 23 瀏覽次數,
5 票
,0.53 分數
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A smart blonde! 2018-02-01
A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute
blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move.
"You know, " he says, "I've heard
that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation
with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."
The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly
and says to the guy, "What would you like to ...
2 評論, 40 瀏覽次數,
8 票
,3.25 分數
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Three Little Pigs 2018-02-01
Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter
came and took their drink order. <br><br>
'I would like a Sprite, ' said the first little
piggy. <br><br>
<br><br>
! 'I would like a Coke, ' said the second little
piggy. <br><br>
'I want beer, lots and lots of beer, ' said the
third little piggy. ...
3 評論, 32 瀏覽次數,
6 票
,2.23 分數
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Date Site Descriptions 2018-01-31
You might find this amusing. Dating Site Deriptions
What they Really MEAN: !!!! <br><br>
Female: Adventurous = puts the book down during sex, .
Athletic = No breasts, 30 something = 41, Fun =Annoying,
Wild = gets pissed easily, Beautiful eyes = face like a robbers
dog, Seeks knight in sinning armour = Ex is a fxxxing nutter.,
New age = hairy and smelly bits, A bit head strong ...
1 評論, 21 瀏覽次數,
4 票
,1.69 分數
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Doctors Never Laugh 2018-01-31
Bob went to a doctor and asked him if he ever laughed at a patient.
The doctor replied 'Of course I won't laugh, I'm
a professional. In over twenty I've never laughed
at a patient.' 'Okay then, ' Bob said, and proceeded to drop
his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'whoo-ha'
the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size of a AAA ...
0 評論, 17 瀏覽次數,
3 票
,1.47 分數
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Office Showoff 2018-01-29
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had
just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with
antiques. He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear
the hot shot, the businessman picked up the ph and started
to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures
around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, ''Can
I ...
0 評論, 24 瀏覽次數,
4 票
,1.30 分數
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gissa a job 2018-01-29
This will go far... This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy
submitted at a McDonald's restaurant in Florida;
and they hired him because he was so hst and funny! NAME: Greg Bulmash. SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President.
But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a
position to be picky, I ...
0 評論, 14 瀏覽次數,
4 票
,2.08 分數
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Maxims 2018-01-22
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Two wrongs are only the beginning. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have
to catch up. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. Change is inevitable except from vending machines. Get a new car ...
0 評論, 19 瀏覽次數,
5 票
,2.16 分數
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North Carolina mountain man was drafted by the Army 2018-01-22
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain
man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training,
the Army issued him a comb That afternoon the Army barber sheared
off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.
That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On
the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been ...
0 評論, 29 瀏覽次數,
5 票
,3.47 分數
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Spelling..... 2018-01-21
Thought you’d like this: Rearrange the letters to spell
out an important part of the human body that is more useful
when erect! <br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
P N E S I <br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br> ...
0 評論, 20 瀏覽次數,
3 票
,1.47 分數
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A mental hospital 2018-01-19
After hearing that of the patients in a mental hospital
had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him
out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the reuer's
file and ed him into his office. <br><br>
"Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior
indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only
sorry that the man you saved later killed himself ...
0 評論, 15 瀏覽次數,
2 票
,1.04 分數
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