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It's All Relevant

Cock Worship SKILLS Training, however, is totally a Thing.
Posted:Jun 20, 2018 4:38 am
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2018 5:25 am
1156 Views
Cock Worship SKILLS Training, however, is totally a Thing.

To begin with, one could try the following, if so desired:

A Basic Recipe for Cock Worship Skill Enhancement Training

1 preferably floppy cock

1 preferably eager, drooly mouth

2 pairs of happy hands (1 pair optional)

A pinch of good humor

A teaspoon of time

A cup of patience

Mix them all together in a bowl of loving acceptance with a spoonful of *gentle guidance until firm and then bake at a high heat - adjusting the temperature, speed and grip patterns as needed to allow for thorough pleasure distribution. When the rich sauce fountains from the center - it is time to remove from heat and allow to cool down. Try to catch all the sauce - it is after all, (most of the time) the point of the process but is also - always a blessing. It’s important to clean up thoroughly - you’re only finished when everything is back in its original place. Floppy, warm, and happy.

Finally, dust with a fine sprinkling of praise and gratitude.

____

*As with all things cock or kitchen related - recipes must be adapted according to personal taste, for example - I like my gentle guidance in the form of a firm hand or a whippy stick (sometimes both together) - other folk need a real gentle touch or just words etc - it is VERY important to adjust everything/anything according to personal - both/all person’s preferences.

itsshinycollectordestinyworld~
3 Comments
Do you see her?
Posted:Jun 19, 2018 4:29 am
Last Updated:Jun 19, 2018 5:59 pm
1973 Views
Do you see her?

The mature woman you think is attractive, has her life together, is accomplished, and comes with the added bonus of purchase: she’s submissive. Jackpot, right? Well, yeah. But let’s unpack that a little.

Look at her.

She is, perhaps, married, or was. She may have children and no help at home, or survived the child-rearing and is now looking to new stages in her life. She may have an ex whose sole purpose in life is to score points off her, she may have an aging family to care for. Daily, she keeps several plates spinning at the top of tall reeds, and you better believe keeping those things spinning isn’t really an act of choice for her. If she lets them fall, they shatter spectacularly, people look and gawk and judge her harshly for her failures.

Look at her.

She is in control at all times, because there are no choices. No alternatives for her, not until those delicious few hours when someone places a collar around her neck and leads her to sanctuary. Until someone ensures that it’s okay to leave the reeds, the plates will spin on, awaiting her return. She revels in the mindlessness of no expectation other than acquiescence, the quietude of simply existing. That is her respite, her renewal. And if, during renewal, she might feel pleasure, so much the better. So much sweeter those achievements, those moments, those peaks. She knows to value each one.

Look at her.

She is, perhaps, a professional of some sort. She might manage people, or create things. Could be she is a force to be reckoned with, meeting deadlines and keeping the ship in its lane. Without question, she has been fighting her entire life for the same recognition you take for granted. She manages her life quite handily, and largely prefers it that way, saves for the moments that she would like to put all of it down, to step away. She revels in not being the steward of lives and lifestyles if only for a short time, entrusted only to the one person she can surrender herself and her stewardship. She looked long and hard for that person, and if that one is you, take note.

Look at her.

Careful, careful thought has gone into the placing down of those burdens. She has weighed the imperatives that others place upon her against her instinct to succumb to the siren call of tranquility. She has calculated, and considered, and decided. There is a deliberateness to the action of transferring power. The reward meets the risk, and she is equal to the task. You are her partner in the exchange, and she has faith in your strength and trusteeship.

Look at her.

She has bent for you. Knelt, bent, allowed herself to be arranged, raised pink and tender places for your inspection and attention and your tools and implements. She has chosen the fluid exchange of energy, gathering strength from her suffering for you, taking your darkness into her, committing her flesh to the healing of both cell and spirit. She allows she chooses, she commits. Her will unleashes your own and in turn, your will keeps hers secure.

Look at her.

Struggle with the deviation from societal norms has left her vulnerable. She has sought out a place to give away, if only for a short while, her body, her conscious mind, perhaps even a portion of her soul. With the shedding of her clothing, that nakedness runs deeper than the flesh. When she is wrapped in blankets and forehead kisses or later slipping into street clothes, she is quietly donning the protective garments of her every day.

Look at her. Isn’t she fine?

wheredoibegintofindhim~
7 Comments
Bound and Strapped
Posted:Jun 18, 2018 5:52 pm
Last Updated:Jun 19, 2018 1:42 pm
2300 Views
Bound and Strapped

She lay on the bed, still bound and strapped. The marks he had made on her body fresh from a long session. She could feel her body gently trembling, her mind coming down from the thrill of their evening, her body calling out to him. Her mind needing his tenderness. She felt his hands slowly undo the cuffs to her wrists, then the straps securing the ankles and her thighs. His strong arms wrapped her up in his, a sense of comfort and love pouring over her. He kissed her cheek softly and stroked her hair. “What can I do for you, baby?” he said, softly, holding her close, whispering how happy she made him, taking care of her for the rest of the evening, making her feel safe, making her feel loved, just as he always did.

art-of-domination~
3 Comments
What you don’t see is:
Posted:Jun 17, 2018 4:53 am
Last Updated:Jun 17, 2018 7:54 am
3035 Views
What you don’t see is:

1) the time getting to know each other before they even kissed

2) the trips to the park, the pillow fights, the discussions of life goals and dreams

3) the initial discussions, covering basics and delving into what she was comfortable doing WITH HIM.

4) the evenings spent discussing personal family things. Heartbreaks. Disappointments. The tears and support

5) the times she was unable to step forward because of her lack in confidence in herself and HE gently reminded her and encouraged her

6) his bad days- when she loved and supported and held his sobbing form

7) the disagreements

the experimentation, the changing of minds (on 2nd thought- no- I do not like blood play)

9) the times she cried because she thought she wasn’t good enough for him

10) the deeper negotiations

11) the time he brought her to tears then spent 3 days not leaving her side because she needed him

These scenes- do not happen without extensive discussion, play, experimentation, and constant consent. CONSTANT consent. Each action requires agreement.

submissive-seeking~
3 Comments
Communication doesn’t always have to be verbal
Posted:Jun 16, 2018 10:39 am
Last Updated:Jun 17, 2018 2:26 am
3383 Views
Communication doesn’t always have to be verbal

There are several things I have picked up in my research. There are truths and concepts that are undeniably the main one is our lifestyle is full of protocols and rituals most by our own making. The other is communication is key as in all aspects of life, but In BDSM lifestyle why not combine the two. We already do in some aspects such as if our sub needs a spanking they can bring an implement and present it to you. There are other forms, for instance, I have a system with my Bella where she has 3 different collars at home. If she is in need of a Daddy Dom she brings the pink collar and presents it to me if I agree I place it on her and pull her into my lap. If she needs her Dom she brings the brown collar again if I agree I place it on her and she kneels at my feet. Then there are the days she is in need of something more she will bring the black collar I will put it on her and she is to strip and get in the corner till I am ready to deal with her. All of these can be overridden by me. This is just a way for us to communicate without speaking. There are a lot of other ways. I once knew a switch that was primarily a Dom but if he had a really bad day he had a ring he would put on before walking in and his sub knew to remove her collar and take control. The constant in all the successful couples are always the same communication. It can be verbal ( porch time, meta, speak freely or pillow talk) whatever or however you call it communication is the answer. In my field of expertise we have what’s called Speak up, Listen up where I teach people not only to speak up when something is wrong but also how to listen up it saves lives. Remember these are people we are dealing with things we do as Dom or sub effects lives. We are all human. Yall stay safe.

raspydom~
2 Comments
Sometimes...
Posted:Jun 14, 2018 4:26 am
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2018 8:14 am
4400 Views
Sometimes...

Sometimes I look at you and I can’t understand how someone before me didn’t see what I see,
sometimes I look at you and I can’t understand how someone before me didn’t notice a whole beautiful universe hidden within you,
sometimes I look at you and I can’t understand how someone before me looked at you and didn’t find every single thing they’d been searching for in a single human being,
and sometimes I look at you feeling glad that they didn’t, because if they looked deep enough to see all of those things within you, then I would’ve never been able to.

— Ruby Dhal
2 Comments
Nature or Nurture?
Posted:Jun 13, 2018 4:48 am
Last Updated:Jun 13, 2018 2:46 pm
5062 Views
Nature or Nurture?

“So where does your submissiveness fit in? Nature or nurture?”

We were tangled up in sheets and each other, talking after play. I liked how we flipped between power exchange, joking, opinionated conversation.

But this particular question gave me the binary shudders: why do I have to pick one, where are the in-betweens? (My fluid sexuality leaks into far more than orientation/gender.)

Yet, I’m far down the environmental, nurture, socialization side of the spectrum. So I instinctively launched into explaining my submissiveness through that lens. It was not well thought out. Nurture inevitably links to societal power relations. My explanation spun a web of sticky sentences that summarised in something along the lines of:

There is relief and release in consenting to be treated as society treats girls and women: inferior, designed to answer to another, and always, always to please others before themselves. It releases me from the daily battle. It’s a relief to take off my war paint, put down my weapons and kneel. Mine is linked to the oppression I feel as a woman.

That web felt dark and cynical, confusing and half-formed. It did make sense in parts, but also didn’t. I tried to spin sense into my words but instead ran in circles. He didn’t seem to understand. I felt frustrated, with him, and myself. We moved onto other conversation but I still felt uneasy. Finally, before falling asleep, I voiced it:

“You know what we talked about earlier when you asked if my submissiveness is down to nature or nurture?”

“Yes.”

“My submissiveness isn’t part of me being a victim of anything.”

He paused.

“It’s important you don’t think that.”

“Okay.”

“Really important. Please don’t think that.”

“Okay, I won’t.”

He sounded a little confused. I thought it was obvious and I was too tired to explain.

It took roughly a week to see what had happened from a more level-headed position.

We all internalize normative views and stigmas, power-based structures, hierarchies of race, gender, class, sexuality, etc. As much as we try to separate ourselves from them - those people with those sexist, racist, homophobic views - it’s structural and we all play a role in reinforcing, reproducing, resisting. We are them. And some discourses stick with us more than others. A big one for me: victim blaming.

That means that all those moments of being a victim signal to me that I am weak and guilty, I am to blame and I have failed. It’s only recently that I’ve started to see - not everyone makes that link. But in my mind, there’s a clear path between my victimhood, weakness and my failure (when it comes to myself; interestingly not at all when I think of others).

So when I inadvertently linked my submissiveness to victimhood, I also linked submissiveness to weakness and failure. He didn’t make that connection. I did. And then I told him not to connect those dots.

Oh, boy.

I hadn’t reflected on it until that point, but my submissive and masochistic needs go way back. Back before I felt society’s misgivings towards me being born a daughter.

The playground game I created at 8 years old, which was essentially tag with added tickle punishments if you were caught.
The delightful rush I got every time I was caught.
How I secretly wanted to be caught.
The tingling feeling whenever someone close to me took control.
My pretend games of being kidnapped and tied to a tree by my childminder’s brother, who would maliciously torture me for his own fun.
Those fantasies didn’t feel particularly complicated until I was old enough to receive men’s attention. I didn’t want the catcalls, the groping, the assaults, the violence. Yet I still fantasized about being objectified and used. I craved the pain and the humiliation; I longed for dominance.

The catcalls and groping and assault made me feel ashamed, weak, a failure; my young teen self-had swallowed a whole tub of victim blaming pills and saturated my veins in it. Every time I was victimized, I told myself it was because I had failed. And I believed it.

I spent a lot of years trying to prove to myself that I wasn’t weak or a failure. I worked 4 jobs at once. I left my home country. I crossed borders alone. I accepted jobs in countries I’d never heard of. I hitchhiked. I busked in the streets. I lived in a tent for half a year. I carried half my body weight up mountains. And I banished my submissive needs from my mind. There was no room for weakness.

That was then.

Now I’m happily exploring submissiveness and masochism, and I’m learning that I don’t need to prove my strength to anyone, least of all myself (sometimes it still creeps up on me; it’s a process).

And when it comes to figuring out my fantasies vs. sexual violence - the single word of consent makes the jigsaw puzzle complete. Coat it in trust, frame it with communication, and the two are completely different landscapes.

I’m also musing that my submissive/masochistic sexuality is more nature-based. Something magic in my genes, just like the queerness and poly-ness. The environmental/nurture side of things, in actual fact, got in the way for a while.

And so, later, I was the one to bring the topic back up with him:

“You know the conversation we had about my submissiveness being nature or nurture, weeks ago?”

We were lying in bed again, after playing.

“Yes.”

“How I tried to explain it being nurture, but didn’t do a good job, and then asked you not to link my submissiveness to being a victim, despite me doing that exact thing?”

He gave me a crooked smile. “Yes.”

“I’ve been thinking. I changed my answer.”

Another chuckle. “Shall I ask you again, then?”

“Yes, please.”

“So… where does your submissiveness fit in? Nature or nurture?”

freelydone~
3 Comments
… And He will make me
Posted:Jun 11, 2018 4:34 am
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2018 4:47 am
6253 Views
… And He will make me

He’ll come into my life unannounced. And it’ll scare the shit out me because, I’m supposed to have my life together, ready for Him.

He’ll understand the pushback. The uncertainty. The distance. The walls. He’ll persevere or maybe just wait, give me my time. But He’ll never leave. Always protecting, always aware.

He’ll feel the pull, as much as I do. And perhaps he’ll resist it too. But the pull will endure. The connection will survive and one day we’ll succumb.

And He will make me…

He will make understand that life doesn’t have to be perfectly planned, but that He will be there to lead my path.

He will make me see that perfection is not a constant status, but a continuous journey to the best version of myself.

He will make feel again, trust again, love again.

He will make me believe.

He will make me surrender, fully, completely and willingly to Him. He will make me embark on a journey of growth and fulfillment. He will make me feel that I’m not alone anymore because He will be there guiding my growth, growing with me, leading the way.

He will open my eyes and make me look at myself in a different light. He will bend me over and make me step out of my comfort zone. He will pull my hair and make me do things I only dreamed of. He’ll make me believe that He will never let me go.

And He will make me whole.

spellboundsir~
6 Comments
His Hands
Posted:Jun 10, 2018 9:31 am
Last Updated:Jun 10, 2018 10:13 pm
6524 Views
His Hands

So often we see imagery of a man kissing a woman’s hand. That is traditional and takes me to a time of chivalry, romance, and can even be extremely erotic when a skilled man kisses, licks, and sucks in just the right way… in just the right places… palm… fingers… knuckles… Mmmmmmm…. but, I digress. There is still a place for that in my world.

But, as a submissive woman, there is an important need in my life to kiss a (my) Dominant’s hand. That kind of kiss shows submission, devotion, and gratitude. The hand of a Dominant can bring (consensual) pleasure, pain, and punishment. That hand is a symbol of the strength with which a Dom can provide physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual safety by guiding and protecting his submissive on every level. I want to kiss that hand. I need to kiss the hand of one who puts my needs before his needs and wants, and before my wants when they aren’t good for me. As much as kneeling, honorifics, kissing an implement of punishment, or any other signifier, I see kissing a Dominant’s hand as a signifier of my deep and devoted submission.

snowsongs91~
4 Comments
The Slow Unfurling of Sadism
Posted:Jun 10, 2018 4:05 am
Last Updated:Jun 10, 2018 6:04 pm
6659 Views
The Slow Unfurling of Sadism

I don’t consider myself a masochist, but pain is an important part of my submission. Sometimes that feels weird to say—that I like pain and need pain, but I’m not a masochist. For me, the difference is that pain is an expression of my submission, not an end in itself. I enjoy the opportunity to give myself to my Dominant in ways that are hard for me. I enjoy knowing that I am a girl who doesn’t get choices, even if my Dominant chooses for me to suffer. And I need these “proof of ownership” moments, even when I don’t always enjoy them.

But as someone who needs pain, I have dated sadists. Actually, I kind of adore them. Sadists are deeply emotionally aware. When you are a person who feels aroused and emotionally connected through inflicting pain, you learn to read every quiver, every trembling lip, the inflection of every scream. You become hyperfocused on your partner’s emotional and physical state because that’s what feeds you— and because you know what can go wrong.

Sadists know that they enjoy hurting people. For most, it takes time to come to terms with that. And even when you’ve accepted your desire to inflict pain, building trust with a new person is always hard. To show the person you care about that you love their agony… It takes time. No one in kink exercises more self-restraint than the sadist.

So this means people with deep emotional awareness are required to take serious emotional risks with their partners. This leads to an endearing pattern that I call the slow unfurling of sadism (alternate title: How Sadists are Like Shy Baby Groundhogs). Sadists tend to start slower than other D-types. They don’t cause a lot of pain right away. They test something out, then they back off a little. A flicker of pain, then back to soft and sweet. Then they push a little further, and then back off a little. Gradually, they create a safe space for their submissive to suffer—to let pain flow freely. They earn a submissive’s trust by showing they are in control and respect boundaries.

At the same time, they are also creating opportunities for their submissive to earn their trust—trust that they won’t be rejected and trust that what they are doing is consensual. Sadists need reassurance. Did you endure the pain out of submissive obligation, or did you want it? Did it mean something to you? They need to know if you felt a connection through the pain. They need to know if it turned you on. They need to know if you want more. As a submissive, I love these moments. I get to tell my partner that I love the glimmer in their eyes before they hurt me, or that I smile every time I run my fingers over the welts on my ass. I am honest about my limits, but I also show my sadist the joy I feel in serving through pain.

The most rewarding moment is when a sadist looks deep into your eyes and tells you they want to lick the tears off your face while they make you scream. And then they do it. Because that’s when you know they’ve let you in. They’ve trusted you with a part of themselves that few people get to see, let alone love. That is a beautiful feeling, and well worth the time it takes to get there.

cherished-property~
4 Comments

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