Close Please enter your Username and Password

It's All Relevant

Treat Them Well...
Posted:Jun 24, 2017 4:03 am
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2017 12:31 am
310 Views
Treat Them Well...

Here’s to the girls that love to be barefoot in the rain…
Treat them well
They may seem rough and tumble
Fiercely independent and wild spirited
But they are fragile at heart and need much tenderness
And firm embraces when the storms come, and they’ll come
They like pretty things, draw girly hearts on letters and dance in cotton dresses
They need passion, need even more to fuel your passion
Their fires burn beneath the winsome smiles and sterling eyes
They beg for the crush of your body, the heft of you, musk and firm hands
They have soft centers and tangy nectar that will lure you to your undoing
Like sirens on the shore on hot summer nights, you’ll be drawn to them
They curl up like kittens on your chest, leaving blankets behind
So you can always see the fineness of their delicate body on you
Unkempt they are still porcelain and Jasmine sleeping
Awake they are vanilla and lace, all wrapped up in your loving embrace
Treat them well

— Original writing © ThePoeticSir 2015
4 Comments
30 Rules For A Modern Gentleman...
Posted:Jun 23, 2017 9:35 am
Last Updated:Jun 24, 2017 11:03 am
641 Views
30 Rules For A Modern Gentleman...

1. Be gentle to the fairer sex, it’s in the name.
2. Dress well no matter the occasion.
3. Pride is dangerous, be careful.
4. Be humble, be grateful
5. Opening the door or giving up a seat for a lady isn’t up
for discussion.
6. Work hard, that is if you want to own anything worth having
7. Starting / instigating a fight is for school boys, but men obtain the power to end one.
8. Ignorance isn’t bliss, knowledge is power.
9. Suit up (make sure they’re tailored to fit)
10. Confidence is a gentleman’s trademark.
11. Comfort zones are for the weak, men aren’t weak.
12. Foul language is for the less educated.
13. Make eye contact and mean business.
14. Lower your standards for no one.
15. Being romantic doesn’t make you a woman.
16. Stay groomed.
17. Admit when you’re wrong
18. Always make the first move, you’re the MAN
19. Handwritten “Thank you” cards aren’t outdated. Use them.
20. Chivalry is not dead, there are just too many boys.
21. It is said you can tell a lot about a man through his handshake, so make it strong and firm.
22. Leave her breathless
23. Judge no one, just improve yourself.
24. Speak your mind, don’t hesitate.
25. Offer your arm to a lady while walking, they’ll feel secure.
26. You’re the man, you pay.
27. Women love compliments, gentlemen provide them.
28. Never wear your hat indoors, it’s disrespectful.
29. Make sure everyone has their plate before you start eating.
30. We don’t always have to be the center of attention, but we are always noticed. It is our signature as gentlemen to come, make a statement, leave, and be remembered.

~Library for Kinksters
7 Comments
June
Posted:Jun 22, 2017 10:47 am
Last Updated:Jun 23, 2017 6:30 am
893 Views
June

5 Comments
You Learn...
Posted:Jun 22, 2017 7:06 am
Last Updated:Jun 23, 2017 6:31 am
974 Views
You Learn...

As you grow up, you will learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back. Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

— Unknown
8 Comments
Safety when looking for a Potential Dom/me
Posted:Jun 22, 2017 1:53 am
Last Updated:Jun 22, 2017 9:04 pm
998 Views
Safety when looking for a Potential Dom/me

For subs, looking for a potential Dom/me can be a minefield of traps, pitfalls, abusers, users, fakes, and cheaters. So how do you best prepare yourself when you think you have found someone that you could see yourself submitting to? There are many things that you can do, that any Dom/me with nothing to hide, would be happy to know you are doing. here is a list of things that I would suggest to any sub in this situation…

1. get to know the person first from a distance without ANY mention of D/s or sexual play. This can be done in days, weeks or months… However long it takes you to feel comfortable moving to the next step.

2. Ask LOTS of questions. Ask your potential Dom/me about past relationships, both D/s and vanilla. How many have they had? How did they end? Are they still friends with their ex’s? Would their ex’s be happy for you to talk to them and ask about their relationship? Have they ever had a sexually transmitted disease? Do they have children? All these questions will give you a general idea on the type of person your potential Dom/me is. Watch out for red flags such as avoidance of questions, large numbers of relationships that ended badly, unwillingness to take the time to let you get comfortable with who they are etc…

3. Ask general questions about their past and who they are. Do they have a criminal record? Do they use drugs? Are they big drinkers? Do they smoke? What is their financial situation? Do they work? if not, then why? Ask them to describe themselves and compare that to what your gut tells you from what you have learned so far about them.

4. Find out if they are part of any D/s communities, online or in real life. Would they let you become part of that community and talk to others that have been around them for longer?

5. Ask them what they are looking for in a sub, what their kinks/fetishes are (Do NOT volunteer yours until they give you theirs), Are they looking for an online dynamic or something that could be real life? Ask what their opinions are on punishments, discipline, personal growth, what types of D/s dynamics interest them most, what does being a Dominant mean to them, what does submission mean to them, what do they want/need from a sub, are they physically able to protect you if needed… Ask anything you can think of that you think will make you feel more comfortable.

6. Ask them if they would be willing to supply you with a criminal background check from the police. Take a sexual health physically and supply you with the doctor's report.

7. Once you feel comfortable with all the responses you have received from asking all the above questions, then you may feel more at ease about opening up about yourself. What you want/need from a D/s dynamic, your past experiences, your hopes & fears, your kinks/fetishes etc…

Now, I am not saying that anyone with a criminal record or has caught a sexually transmitted disease, or has had relationships that have ended badly, or doesn’t have a job, or little money are not worthy of being your Dom/me. But you have to use your common sense here… look at the circumstances. be particularly wary of criminal convictions for assault, sexual crimes (Obviously), drug abuse/dealing, Domestic abuse, avoidance of Child Maintenance payments etc… The point is that you have all the information you need up front to make an informed decision about letting someone into your life in such an intimate way.

Once your are comfortable with it all so far, and have begun opening up about yourself, and you want to move into the D/s side of things, then it’s time for you to think about what you want from negotiations.

Think very carefully about what you really want/need, understand that you can compromise, but NEVER be willing to sell out who you are as a person, your core beliefs etc… At this point, you may find out that although you seemed to be compatible on the surface, in fact you are looking for completely different things. And that’s ok. No harm no foul. If you have both been honest, then this is the where you would both understand your own wants/needs will not be fulfilled by this person, and part company.

If you are able to negotiate the terms of a dynamic that you want and are happy with them, then stick to them. Do not let the Dom/me try to constantly renegotiate the terms based on his/her wants in a particular situation. Make an agreement that you can both renegotiate maybe once every 6 months, or once a year. This is important because people change, their wants/needs change, and renegotiations allow you both to take those changes into consideration.

I hope you can see why honesty & trust are so highly regarded virtues within a D/s Dynamic. Without these, then how can possibly hope to have a successful relationship with anyone? More so in a D/s dynamic where you may be allowing your Dom/me to pretty much have your life in their hands when it comes to edge play/impact play etc…

A good strong foundation built on trust, respect and mutual fidelity, will ensure that your Dynamic has the best possible chance of success. You as a sub, must ALWAYS feel safe, free enough to talk openly to your Dom/me about any concerns you may have with them, or a situation. Always be watchful for red flags such as an overly sensitive Dom/me that takes any of your concerns as personal attacks. Or seems to only be interested in listening to you when it suits them.

And always remember that YOU, the sub, has the power in the Dynamic. The only powers the Dom/me has are the ones that you have gifted to him/her. If you feel abused/used then take them back! Sub does not equate to being a doormat, please remember that.

I hope this post helps you as a sub, understand a little more about the things you can do to feel safer going into a new Dynamic, and the things you can do to make sure you are with someone that is in it for the right reasons, and not just for kinky sex, financial gain, or to satisfy their inner control freak.

~Dominant Life
5 Comments
Body image & BDSM...
Posted:Jun 20, 2017 3:56 am
Last Updated:Jun 24, 2017 7:56 am
1714 Views
Body image & BDSM...

Body image. It is something that we rarely talk about in the scene and yet, so many of us struggle with it. Are you someone who hesitates to strip down to nothing at that play party because you are plagued with a negative body image? Do you hold back in a scene because you are consumed with thoughts of how you look in a scene instead of being able to find joy and pleasure in your play? Or are you a Top who has a submissive who is having difficulty connecting with you because she is more of a slave to food and body obsession than to you?

It seems like there is a whole generation of us that grew up with body-hatred, feeling imperfect and not beautiful, no matter what we looked like. Too thin, too fat, too busty, too flat, too tall, too short, wide hips, no hips, too much ass, not enough. A never-ending litany of what is wrong with us physically, reinforced by images on television, in movies and in print that we could never hope to live up to; growing up understanding that how we look is the most important thing about us. And that it was never good enough.

The scene offers some wonderful things that the vanilla world does not. While we come from all walks of life, BDSMers all have a love for the alternative. We are not people who spend every Wednesday night engaged in military-style intercourse. We love passion, the power exchange, and the magic of sexual self-expression. This attitude translates, generally speaking, into a more open-minded attitude toward size, not to mention age, gender, race, and orientation.

Unlike our vanilla friends who rarely see large naked bodies, we have many opportunities through play parties and demos to look at, get used to, and eventually admire the soft curves of fat people. It is at first astounding, and then liberating to see a large man or woman walk around a play party stark naked, proud of their body, fully loved. It’s hard not to like someone who likes herself so much.

I discovered with time and support from my Padrone that my body, with its ability to do all these things we do, to transform pleasure into pain, to bend and twist and tolerate being bound, to find pleasure in all this, was an asset. He always looks at me appreciatively, and, suddenly, I wasn’t invisible. I was fulfilling one of the most fundamental cores that I had been raised to believe was the most important thing in being female—being attractive to men—and I reveled in it. From the time He took me on as his slave, I have not looked back. Sure, I have times I think or verbalize I wish this was different, this was smaller, or that not so saggy. He gives me ‘the look’ and I snap out of it really quick!

The thing about body issues is that everyone has them, women and men, thin and fat, you and me. If you want to get over self-criticism, here are some things you can try. Start by communicating with your body, using affirmations to find the beautiful parts of yourself, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. Listen to what your body has to say, and respect your own path. This is the foundation of self-love. If you love yourself, loving your body will follow.

On the practical side, go to some play parties or other public situations where you will be able to observe people of all sizes and shapes enjoying themselves. Replace any critical thoughts in your head with positive ones about the beauty of their bodies, whether it be good skin, soft curves, great butt to spank, strong muscles, or wonderful handfuls of breasts. Talk to your friends about what beautiful thing you saw in this larger person. If it’s not a physical attribute, notice their courage for playing in public, their love of their own body, or their self-consciousness. For the female Dominant, size can be an advantage, projecting a powerful physical presence which attracts Submissives. If you have this advantage, use it.

Developing a Healthy Body Image
- Listen to your body. Eat when you are hungry.
- Be realistic about the size you are likely to be based on your genetic and environmental history.
- Exercise regularly in an enjoyable way, regardless of size.
- Expect normal weekly and monthly changes in weight and shape.
- Work towards self-acceptance and self-forgiveness- be gentle with yourself.
- Ask for support and encouragement from friends and family when life is stressful.
- Decide how you wish to spend your energy — pursuing the “perfect body image” or enjoying family, friends, school and, most importantly, life.

Think of the three A’s
Attention: Refers to listening for and responding to internal cues (i.e., hunger, satiety, fatigue).
Appreciation: Refers to appreciating the pleasures your body can provide.
Acceptance: Refers to accepting what is — instead of longing for what is not.

With time, support, and a lot of self-reflection, you too can become comfortable with and learn to love your body, no matter the shape.

© Michelle Fegatofi
13 Comments
10 Traits of a Blowjob Queen
Posted:Jun 19, 2017 6:32 am
Last Updated:Jun 21, 2017 9:47 am
2035 Views
10 Traits of a Blowjob Queen

1. Sucking his cock is something she finds just as natural as kissing her partner and she can’t have enough of it. Its her way of connecting with you. Whether it is a 15 minute blowjob before you get to work or a 4 hour long blowjob while you are watching TV in the evenings, its all a way of connecting and bonding with you and she loves it.

2. Time is not a factor for a blowjob queen. To her sucking cock is like poetry. It´s an art. Doing her performance is nurturing for her soul and her being and at the same time connecting with herself and with you.

3. She is always willing and eager to get better. She does her own research through books, guides, videos etc. to get better at sucking and pleasuring you. She is proud to be a pro cocksucker. In fact, she can even be embarrassed how much she enjoys it and will always try to cover it up by convincing you how much she wants it for you so you can stress down and enjoy her. If she is at all counting number of times or number of minutes/hours- it´s for her own improvement.

4. If you are not doing your part in this she might ask you- or become bratty to get your attention- she wants you to train her and let her work on you to get better. You are the teacher! This includes activities such overall performance, sensual touch, eye contact, deepthroating, ballsucking, rimming, massages etc.

5. If she finds herself bored, don't be surprised she will ask to suck your cock for having something to do. For her sucking your cock is just as natural as kissing and cuddling. She is good at nursing you and always is prepared for the task. She might even have her own knee pillows made if she knows how to do needlework. Don´t be surprised if she doesn’t want to stop sucking after your first ejaculation but want to continue for more.

6. She is attracted to both sides of the coin. One part of her is the slut; love being used, forced deep throated and mouth fucked, taken by surprise. The other part of her is the Goddess in her, with intense eye contact seducing all your senses, taking it forward slowly and sensually until you get a full body climax down her throat.

7. She is very fond of cum and some might even find themselves addicted to their daily amount of cum. If she is spiritually open she might find this a sacred spiritual act of vitality. The downside can sometimes be that it can become more about the cock and the cum than it is about you the partner. Make sure to focus on eye contact and presence with her during the cock sucking if this is the case. She will get better at combining the two.

8. There are two variants of attachment to the cock that is most typical for a blow job queen;

1- her attachment to cock is linked to your cock as the main center of pleasure- she will want only to suck your cock.
2- her attachment to cock goes to cock in general and she will not mind sucking anyone's cock as long as there is a connection with the man and she gets to have the cum.
9. She always swallows every drop and cleans up after herself. As little as possible bother for you and also making sure you are ready for a new round. Don’t be surprised if she is sucking you when you are not hard. She can be impatient. If you are away for a longer period of time she might ask you nicely not to empty yourself so that none of your cum goes anywhere else than to her mouth.

10. Depending on what you allow her to do (and if you want her to ask for permission before she is near you) you might find yourself in no need for an alarm clock anymore. She will easily wake you up in the morning by sucking your cock. Sometimes also during nights if she can’t sleep. Be consistent with what you allow her to do so you don’t loose your sleep.

~Dominant Life
12 Comments
Fall in love
Posted:Jun 18, 2017 6:48 am
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2017 5:58 pm
2356 Views
fall In Love

Fall in love with someone who wants you, who waits for you. who understands you even in the madness; someone who helps you, and guides you, someone who is your support, your hope. fall in love with someone who talks with you after a fight. Fall in love with someone who misses you and wants to be with you. Do not fall in love only with a body or with a face; or with the idea of being in love

I never thought I would say this, but I am in love. I feel it from the tip of my nose to the bottom of my toes.This Man has me spinning and I've never been happier.Love has a way of doing that to you.

~M
11 Comments
Bondage Rope: How To Choose Yours (And More) :
Posted:Jun 14, 2017 10:33 am
Last Updated:Jun 15, 2017 12:17 pm
3572 Views
Bondage Rope: How To Choose Yours (And More):

For most people, rope from a hardware store is just fine. However, there’s more to bondage rope than meets the eye. Finding bondage rope - especially really good bondage rope - isn’t as simple as snagging 100 feet of clothesline at the hardware store and putting a bow on it. In this article, I’ll give you some insight into what makes rope suitable for bondage, and how to choose just the sort of rope you and your partner will enjoy for whatever sort of play you like.

*Material
Most hardware store rope is made of synthetic fibers - usually nylon or polypropylene. Occasionally you’ll see natural fibers, most often cotton and sometimes jute or sisal (avoid these last two, as they’re much too rough for comfort). You can get hemp bondage rope from specialty suppliers - about which more later.

Synthetic fibers tend to feel slippery and look glossy. Natural fiber rope lacks that glossy look and feels more “nappy.” This is because natural fibers tend to have a lot of what rope-mavens call “tooth.” That means the rope tends to grip itself, so it holds knots better. This advantage of natural fiber doesn’t matter for most bondage applications: Most ties work just fine with synthetic rope. But if you want to get into Japanese bondage then you’ll want to invest in authentic hemp. Hemp is THE rope for traditional Japanese bondage, and the style has evolved with very simple knots because of that natural tooth.

*Structure
As for structure, the rope comes in three basic forms: Solid braid, twisted and braided with a core. Braided with the core is just what it sounds like: a braided sheath over a fiber core for extra strength. It’s cheaper than solid braid in most cases. Braided vs Twisted is pretty obvious just from looking. The difference between solid braid and braid with the core is subtle: Usually, you’ll have to check the label for that, or cut the rope - you can see the core clearly then.
Synthetic fiber rope usually feels better against the skin. I usually recommend solid braid nylon as the simplest basic bondage rope. If you already have scored rope then you can make it much softer and more supple by pulling the core out. You’ll reduce the strength of the rope by about 70% but for ordinary bondage that should be fine. You just won’t want to do suspension with it. I have some rope in my own toy bag that I’ve modified this way, and I use it for a few special purposes. However, if you have a choice, go with solid braid to start.

*Thick, thin, or something in between?
As for diameter, that’s very much a matter of taste. Broadly speaking, the thinner rope is easier to tie, but “bites” the skin more. Thicker rope feels gentler but is harder to tie good knots in. I usually use rope between 1/4” and 3/8”. I use 1/4” rope for cuff tie-downs, but if the rope is going to go next to skin I prefer 5/16”. Some people like a rope as thick as 1/2”. I don’t recommend rope thinner than 1/4” or thicker than 1/2”. Experiment with different diameters and strike your own balance.

*Purchasing your rope
You can get most of your rope from the hardware store. This is a good thing since one of the firmest rules is “never buy the rope that you haven’t felt.” The thing is, rope from the hardware store varies widely in feel. So if you buy from the hardware store then feel it first. Good bondage rope should feel soft and compressible, flexible, good on the skin. If you can let the person you plan to tie it feel it, all the better. Your best bet is rope on open coils. Avoid those sealed plastic packages. Look around until you find a rope with the weight, suppleness, and softness you like.

*What length should my rope be?
How much of it will you need? Many rope-fans like to organize their rope into “sets” each consisting of a single long piece of rope cut into various standard lengths. This allows them to make all the rope in a given tie match, which some of us anal-retentive types appreciate. The standard lengths you need depend on the sort of bondage you like to do. You can use these guidelines for buying single lengths of rope, or for buying a long piece and cutting it down to a set:

*40-50 feet: Body harnesses for most average-size people.

*25-30 feet: Chest harnesses, crotch ropes, body harnesses on smaller people.

*Overall this is probably the single most versatile length.

*15 feet: Ties on knees, ankles, or elbows. Wrist ties where you want some rope left over for tying off to something. This is also a good length for making rope “cuffs” for each wrist or ankle (aka “Single-limb ties”).
*10 feet: basic wrist or ankle ties.

*5-6 feet: a handy length for securing leather cuffs to a bed or other attachment point.

*On the whole, it’s better to have too much rope for a given tie than not enough.

*Using these guidelines, here’s how I cut up 260 feet of rope to make a typical set for my own bondage work:
1 x 50 feet
4 x 30 feet
3 x 15 feet
2 x 10 feet
4 x 6 feet

*Cutting & Finishing
There are two steps to preparing your rope: cutting it to the desired length and finishing the cut ends. Cutting is easy: First measure off the length you want. I use the fact that my outstretched arms are almost exactly 6 feet from fingertip to fingertip as a handy guide. Next, mark the cutting point by wrapping the rope with electrical tape or masking tape on either side of the point you plan to cut (leave about 3/4” of bare rope between the tape wrappings). Finally just cut the rope between the two pieces of tape. The tape will hold the rope ends and keep them from unraveling after you cut them.

You can leave the tape wrappings as they are, or you can finish the ends a little more neatly. I like to use colored electrical tape on the ends of each of my ropes, color-coded so I can tell how long a given rope is just by glancing at the ends. Other riggers like to use a neutral color tape and a permanent marker to write the length directly. If I’m feeling very fancy I will “whip” the ends of my rope with waxed twine to keep the ends neat. It’s prettier than tape but significantly more work. Wikipedia has an excellent article on rope whipping here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whipping_knot.

There’s one common method of finishing the ends that I do not recommend. With synthetic fibers such as nylon, many people will melt the ends of the rope with a flame of some sort. This works well enough for ordinary utility rope, but I don’t think it’s very attractive for bondage rope. Even more important the hard ends this creates may scratch the bottom who wears your ropes, and they may also catch in the fibers of other ropes when they’re stored together. And of course, melting won’t work at all with natural fiber rope, whereas tape or whipping will. There are so many better ways to finish your ropes that I think melting just isn’t worth the trouble.

Taking care of your rope
With proper care, your rope should last for quite a long time. Avoid getting it dirty, as grit (whether from the dirt itself or drawn in by greasy stains) will gradually wear away at the rope fibers, weakening it. Likewise, don’t let your rope sit in the bag if it’s wet. Mildew will set in.

If you need to wash your rope then the best way is by hand in a sink. If you need to use a washing machine then put the rope in a small net bag such as those used for washing stockings and other delicates. This will keep your rope from wrapping around the agitator in the washing machine. In either case, use a mild detergent, and let your rope hang dry. *Don’t put it in a dryer.

To store your rope, coil it in some secure way and put it away in a drawer, chest, or toy bag. Everyone has his own favorite way to coil rope. The important thing is that whatever method you use has to be secure enough to keep the coil from coming loose in the bag. If it does come loose then you end up with “rope salad,” and that’s just not cool.

For a very simple storage coil, just coil the rope up in some handy way, then tie a single knot in the middle of the coil to keep it from coming loose. There are lots of other ways of course. My personal favorite is the “chain sennit,” which looks a lot like crochet, only with rope.

I hope these suggestions and tips have given you a better idea of the kind of rope you might want to buy and how to take care of it. Hope you’ll enjoy yours as much as we do.

~Dominant Life
4 Comments
Hes A Devil..
Posted:Jun 14, 2017 10:08 am
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2017 4:57 pm
3561 Views
He's A Devil...

He’s a Devil
Because He makes you do things
Things you don’t want to admit
Things you desperately need
Things you shouldn’t want
But oh….
Things you love
3 Comments

To link to this blog (aliljaded) use [blog aliljaded] in your messages.