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MistressKimm 48F  
11953 posts
4/20/2017 1:23 pm
Introvert, or I just hate people

This past weekend we attended my mother’s 70th birthday party (and the party was to say goodbye to her friends, since she will be moving here soon).
I have to admit. I am nervous.
As it gets closer to her moving, I realize all the things I dislike about her.
Don’t get me wrong – I love and admire her endlessly. And she can be funny and fun to spend time with.

But.

She is also a talker, fairly vulgar at times in public, attention-seeking, needy & she hums.
Granted – she is moving into the apartment downstairs. Separate entrance and everything.

But.

She had almost 40 close friends at this party. They love her and will miss her. All she has here is me and the husband. I can’t even think of 40 people I like enough to invite to a party (unless it is a kink party, that is different….lol). Hell, I can’t imagine anything more hellish for myself than a party like that. Food & booze and some presents in a somewhat-fancy room above a restaurant. No entertainment. Just…you know…attention for her. Mind you – this was an expensive party (I chipped in as her present), but she spent a good deal of her own money on it. She wanted attention and was willing to pay for it.

I could do my own family for a birthday and I could do an art show that was about my work – but just a random birthday with people all giving me attention?…nope. Too much fucking pressure to be….civil and entertaining.

The way she needs attention is exhausting sometimes.
And I am getting nervous about it.
I have not lived near her for over 25 years now.
I came back from the weekend and felt ill for a couple days – and tired. So damn tired.

I am happy we can do this for her.
I am also scared shitless. It’s like we are about to have a child. One who is more clever than a toddler when it comes to being the center of attention.
She will be here in a couple weeks to paint her place. Then she moves in June.
When here painting, it will be my birthday, which is always near Mother’s Day.
She will want to have a party for me – please god no. I just want dinner with my husband at a cool place (and I guess she can come). She will also want tons of attention on Mother’s Day. Fuck me. I’m tired just thinking about it.

One good thing that happened – apparently she laughingly told everyone that I don’t like people. So, not too much was expected of me. She might have exaggerated, but I found myself wanting to live up to it and growl whenever anyone spoke to me. She looks at me and thinks I should have a huge group of friends like her. I look at her and shudder at all that non-stop social interaction. Hell no. I like a good female friend and a couple of couples we can hang with on occasion. I would be good with that. More than that is just…too much.

(I know, I have written about trying to find friends here in our new home. I still want to. This is just me after a weekend of forced socializing….fucking grumpy and wanting to be alone).

The photo is for me to relax. Chillax, woman. It is all goooooddddddd


MistressKimm 48F  
9674 posts
4/20/2017 1:26 pm

And don't be the asshole who comes along to point out that I am lucky to have her. I am aware - and yet she is still exhausting.


ssdarkfury 46M
5 posts
4/20/2017 1:54 pm

As an introvert Myself I know all to well how you feel. But you don't hate people or you would not be in this life style, and would then hide away to be an antisocial recluse. You just need to find your balance again and place the new things in there nitch,and then you will be ok.. Oh I love the pics btw 😊 .. Oh try listening to thunder and rain sound (utube) might help you like it does Me.


MistressKimm replies on 4/21/2017 11:04 am:
Thank you - I love this photo as well. It was a relaxing walk through a nature park from last year.

No, I don't hate all people....lol

sub_nouveau 47F  
2614 posts
4/20/2017 2:27 pm

I can relate entirely! Your Mum sounds like my bestie - she needs attention constantly and has to see at least one friend every day. Drives me completely batty! I lived with her for a year and the endless stream of drop-ins... "Just in the area and thought I'd stop in to say hi". Arghhhhh!!! She thrives on it, while I scramble to find sanctuary.

I don't know how people who are always surrounded by others, ever find inner peace. There's never any quiet to reflect and appreciate yourself. It seems to be avoidance of being alone.

You're a much braver woman than I, but I'm sure you'll work out your boundaries so that you can all live peaceably together. Best wishes

Let's talk. It's how we learn about yesterday and comprehend today.


MistressKimm replies on 4/21/2017 11:04 am:
yeah, we will work it out - we have to. She keeps saying I will not even know she is here. Somehow I doubt that, but she knows what I am like, so she will try.

alt5250 52M
825 posts
4/20/2017 7:47 pm

Yes mom moving in can be a challenge... may have the same issue shortly too.

While you are recovering I wonder if you can distract her with the beauty of the place, the dogs.... get the kids to write.... introduce her to video conferencing, email, or plain text chats with her friends.... then they can all chat and maybe just maybe allow you the peace & quiet you probably crave. (Assumptions & maybe's all added at my own risk.)

I wish you luck in everyone over there finding what they need.


MistressKimm replies on 4/21/2017 11:06 am:
She has her own plans on how to occupy herself. I expect she will make friends easily and get involved in the community. Although, it may be tougher as she is just retiring.

tahimikbayani 46M
5076 posts
4/20/2017 7:55 pm

Yeah, I don't like many people either. Well, I do try to tolerate them.

Great pic of a tranquil stream.


MistressKimm replies on 4/21/2017 11:06 am:
It was a great spot, that stream. I need to go back.

Fist_My_Ass_Babe 66M
43 posts
4/20/2017 8:09 pm

Know exactly what you mean.
Love the pix too.
What you need to to is set up a video camera and capture a half hour (with sound of course) then loop the playback.


MistressKimm replies on 4/21/2017 11:06 am:
ha- great idea for the video of the stream!

Regia_SADICA 37F  
107 posts
4/20/2017 9:38 pm

I'm glad I'm not the only one. It's not that I hate people, I just prefer to not be surrounded by their vibe, which most of the time is shitty.

I'm quite comfortable on my own and I guess that's why I have so little friends. Also, living in a country full of retrograde idiots does not help!

Anyway, I wish you all the best! Keep us posted.


MistressKimm replies on 4/21/2017 11:07 am:
I blame my anti-social behavior on being an only child who read all the time (mom worked a lot) and the fact that I am an artist and need that time alone to create.

MyLoveandPet 48M/41F  
8512 posts
4/21/2017 4:58 am

I have given up on the self denial since hitting mean-o-pause, I do not really like most people, I find many people annoying and crowds just make my skin crawl most of the time. I enjoy my quiet home life of my crafts and my cats and Pet and that's all I need.

The only party type crowd I like is kinky summer camp because we all get it and there is plenty of naked entertainment.

ML.


MistressKimm replies on 4/21/2017 11:08 am:
We sound very much alike.
I do the kinky parties - or at least I used to.
I haven't felt like it since last summer. While I like the kinky folks, it is the same as people everywhere (my interest comes and goes).

aliljaded 46F  
148 posts
4/21/2017 7:58 am

I totally get it and agree with you ...
A line from one of my favorite writers .,...

I don't hate people, I just like it better when they're not around!
~ Charles Bukowski

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”


MistressKimm replies on 4/21/2017 11:08 am:
lol...exactly

2ndTimeHere 53M
8355 posts
4/21/2017 9:00 am

I can be gregarious and outgoing... even something of a humanitarian on the important issues, but I don't want motherfuckers sitting next to me on the subway running their mouths...but I do prefer the city to the country. People in town are too busy with their own shit to mess about in mine. Country folk are bored witless and looking to attach themselves to what you have happening.

Nothing worse than jawboning randoms trying to insinuate themselves into my game.


MistressKimm replies on 4/21/2017 11:12 am:
yeah, I can be the life of the party - but it is very dependent on my mood and if I am controlling the interactions. Having to socialize when it is not my choice is like slow torture.

I always wanted to live in NYC, but never made the chance. I want another life so I can try that loft-living out. I like the country because trees and grass make me happy (too many years in south texas with no green stuff). The people are kind as well - but, we are careful to keep our distance from the neighbors so they don't get in our business.

rosaenaluin 58F  
326 posts
4/21/2017 12:42 pm

i like people, i just dont like them around all the time....

I dont understand people who always have to be acknowledged by others...
soo tiredsome! boring.

I am my own person, dont need people around me to entertain me, no thanks!
Also, i can not stand small talk, i really do not like that at all, if you dont have any thing of value to say? PLEASE put a sock in it!

Meeting new (vanilla) people is tiredsome, tedious, because they always want to know all they can, about you and your life...

Me being /slave like, do not fit in the vanilla world, vanilla value, morals.
They wont be able to cope with that
so why should i want to shock them?

I have a very small group of people who are also into bdsm and even they have difficulty to understand my mindframe..!
My inner mé.
because they consider bdsm to be a something only for in the bedroom-play....

One family member who truelly understand me, my character....my needs..
but to her it is too much confusing to hear about this too much...

And some acquaintances, who dont know anything about me.

it is very tiredsome for me, to be around them,
because they and i have not much in common, their whole outlook on life is soo different from mine...
I must always keep my guard up, be carefull what and how i say things...

On a party i can be outgoing, socialising, nice, pleasant.
but most of the time, the people i meet on munches and such, i feel not at ease, soo full of their ego! yuk!
I like small groups, so i can talk with most and have a good time.


MistressKimm replies on 4/21/2017 10:13 pm:
I do not mind people who are different than I am (usually). And if I like the person, I don't mind them asking about my life. But, it all depends on if I want to be socializing at that time or not.

drmgirl622 61F  
4038 posts
4/21/2017 4:00 pm

I am so glad I live alone.......just me and the cat. We do what we please, when we please. Other than going to work I'm not behoovin' to anyone. You are a good daughter to begin this undertaking......hats off to you MistressKimm.


MistressKimm replies on 4/21/2017 10:17 pm:
I keep hearing that lately - several women and how happy they are to be living alone. If the slave were not perfect for me, I could definitely see it.

meh. I suppose I am a good daughter, but it doesn't feel like I am doing something outlandish. She was a single parent. It was just her and I. I know what she sacrificed for me. I couldn't see her in her old age alone and renting a room when I could provide her with an apartment in our home. The one who is really good is the slave. He never hesitated when I brought up the subject.

rosaenaluin 58F  
326 posts
4/22/2017 9:23 am

MistressKimm; hmm, you are lucky to have found that slave, who fits you so well.

Also, i understand your motives to give your mother a home, instead of a living space/room somewhere.... it sounds as if it is only natural to do this for her....

I hope the three of you can keep to your own space and bouderies too.

love, acceptance and understanding is all what matters and counts.....

As for 'other people' most people who get to know me, are very open to me, about their problems and relational worries... i am open to others peoples worries, they can talk about anything with me, i am sort of shockproof.... There is not much wich can shock me on the whole scale of human behaviour...
wich they seem to feel, .... so they feel safe and open up, that is not always something i enjoy very much...
I am emphatic to others.... just part of my nature....



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