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Dashmaux 49M
101 posts
6/3/2017 12:00 am

This is sort of the issue a friend of mine is dealing with. Sadly, she is of the mind set that it makes her less of a submissive because she has to be the dominant at her job and she has a hard time turning off the switch so to speak. It has also led to her questioning her submissive side in all aspects, primarily because she does not have a dom in her life currently to keep her grounded and give her that release she needs.


rosaenaluin 65F
10827 posts
6/3/2017 12:16 am

beautifully written. i feel for you
In the outside world it is never safe, to let your submissive be, show...
Vanilla's dont understand, feel inadequate by it.. getting real nervous...

Only with a Dominant around you, you are safe..., and only if that dominant truelly understands your nature... it is a very lonely life, feeling, needing what you need, being submissive....
even here, the majority does not have A clue!

love yourselfs, in all that is neccesary to protect your true being!
stay safe & sane,


camperdude_69 63M
599 posts
6/3/2017 1:29 am

nice


drmgirl622 68F  
25884 posts
6/3/2017 8:00 am

You know sub_nouveau it is such a dilemma that women such as ourselves face. The main thing is that you always remain true to yourself......both sides of yourself. On any given day I can be on a plane headed for a business meeting of which I am going to chair. I put myself in that mindset of business and relish that power and dominance needed to accomplish the task. When I get back on the plane to come home......the "other" side emerges and I soften, become that gentle submissive that keeps me balanced.

Hold onto both sides of yourself, tightly, for you are a woman of contrasts. A woman who is fierce, strong, yet not afraid to give your submission freely to the Sir you love.


brandygirasol 54T
9365 posts
6/3/2017 8:03 am

Girlfriend- You Live A Double Life With The Necessity Of Double Personalities And Seem To Handle It Very Well. WOW It Must Be A Dog Eat Dog Heavy Stress Job You Have- Perhaps Sales??? Not So Easy To Turn Your Submissive Side On And Off But At Least When You Are With Your DOM You Can Unwind For Needed Stress Relief. From Your Relationship Posts It Seems HE Would Be Quite Understanding Of The Situation. As Usual With Us There Are Similar Paralells In My Life... With Myself Being A Supervisor/Leader At Work While Nobody Is Aware Of My Secret Kinky Sex Life...


Dreamcatcher__ 87M
7019 posts
6/3/2017 10:29 am

What you are experiencing is a portion of the trade-off that a career involves. A bread-winner with a family faces choices that don't involve domination or submission but still require sacrifice: Do you pull the kids out of school and move them halfway around the world so you can take an assignment that will mean career advancement? What criteria do you use for making career choices? Do you go to Pakistan with all it's unrest and uncertainty, or to Australia with its comfort and familiarity? Do you risk everything in a fight for a job that successfully performed is a sure career enhancer, but is rife with stress and consumes your every waking hour, or do you roll the dice on an easier one that has a hidden path to promotion that nobody seems to have caught on to?

Do you choose everybody's ideal version of hedonism, which the high-paying, high-pressure job virtually ensures, or do you choose the path less taken, with your own, personally satisfying, socially questionable, hidden form of hedonism? Is it possible to keep such a life secret without being tainted, corrupted, by the deception? Aren't the strongest among us all corrupted or tainted simply by virtue of the choices we make as an essential requirement of strength? Don't we have to make those choices anyhow, because not to would be to join the weak, the victims... and that alternative is intolerable to us.

There is another path, of course. John Knowles called it "A Separate Peace." Joseph Conrad showed us the stark consequences of being incapable of taking that path in "Lord Jim."


Dashmaux 49M
101 posts
6/3/2017 10:55 am

I have known her over 12 years and we have often wondered why we have not gotten together before. There is a lot of reasons on both our parts, but, I am going to visit her this month to see if we mesh in person more then we do on the phone or online. We have had visits in the past (this will be our forth) but always in the past to help her explore parts of herself. Now we are looking to see if we want to take it to the next level.. We shall see.


aliljaded 53F
8847 posts
6/3/2017 10:56 am

I am only submissive for one person and that is the way it's always been. Although I do hate confrontation, There is always a time and a place for it. I am dominant most of the time in my everyday life. I have to make decisions that affect people on a daily basis It's just become second nature to me. The truth of the matter is when I am with my Dominant I fall right to my knees (w/out coercion) I never need to be reminded of my place.and it's in my nature to serve Him. Thank you for posting this, I always enjoy reading your posts, they are so insightful.

As Always,
Warm Regards,
M

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”


rosaenaluin 65F
10827 posts
6/3/2017 3:41 pm

Maybe you could find some way, some rituals, to make the transition to be his slave, after working houres?
meditate?
by changing clothes, or taking a shower.. or wearing something you know he loves to see you in?
to get in your Original state of being, again..?
just some thoughts.....


tinkerfun 46F
11150 posts
6/5/2017 3:00 pm

Oh no lovely, I can read the stress through your words... I do hope you aren't near breaking point. I could imagine it being a little frustrating for your sir as he would probably like to help but might feel pushed away a little although I might be wrong.

Do you think having a long Saturday evening date (if possible) could help? Maybe less focus on D/s and more focus on vanilla loving and cuddles. Somehow I feel your natural roles may come to surface too. Perhaps by Saturday you could have shaken off that work armour and having a session with your sir could actually help you and give you strength? Then you would have the whole Sunday to start slowly getting back to your every day self.

Sending you loads of hugs and strength. Without clouds we wouldn't appreciate the sun shine xx



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