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For the very first time I was chatting to a very good friend and ex-lover the other day. He's been seeing a very lovely and very sexy lady for a few years now and he mentioned that the night before had been the first time they had slept together but had not 'slept together'. I asked him the reasons why which he explained then I asked him how he felt about it. His response was that it was one of the best nights he had ever spent with her. Me thinks the man may be in love. Which is fabulous as he deserves to be happy and have someone special in his life. For me, in the early days of seeing someone, the key focus of the time we have together is on sex and I think I'd be rather miffed if it didn't happen. However, as relationships develop there is often a time when the deed is not done for whatever reason. And I agree with my friend, this can be a really key moment. The moment you realise that there is something deeper there. That the relationship, whatever form it may have, runs deeper than just a means to get your rocks off. The first time this happened with my lover was lovely. Tough events outside of our relationship meant that talking and spooning and just being close to each other was more important to us both. How sweet is that! Do you remember the first time with your lover (if indeed there has been one)? |
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I remember the last time better, because it was last Saturday Happy Birthday to Me. I took some time in the middle of a torrid night of wild sex to just lie side by side and talk about something I knew was bothering her. We didn't even touch during that interlude. When it was over, we went back at it like a pair of minks. But that brief time was special, and she texted her appreciation for it a few days later. I don't know what over-all difference it will make to the relationship. We face insurmountable obstacles. We therefore have no long-term future as a couple, tho we do match well as D/s lovers. But it was time very well spent for her, and because of that, for me too.
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I remember the last time better, because it was last Saturday Happy Birthday to Me. I took some time in the middle of a torrid night of wild sex to just lie side by side and talk about something I knew was bothering her. We didn't even touch during that interlude. When it was over, we went back at it like a pair of minks. But that brief time was special, and she texted her appreciation for it a few days later. I don't know what over-all difference it will make to the relationship. We face insurmountable obstacles. We therefore have no long-term future as a couple, tho we do match well as D/s lovers. But it was time very well spent for her, and because of that, for me too.
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The only time this has ever happened to us has been when we've not been able to do it. For instance we've only met in a pub without a place to go after although in the early days we often found some places to have a some form of quickie, even on the street etc although now we would probably be a little less 'obsessed'. We even made love (and I am using that word intentionally as it was not rough at all) pretty much straight after my seizure. I really wanted/ needed it and I am glad he didn't refuse. However it would be fabulous to be able to spend so much time together that we would just be so spent (or whatever reason) we would just want to cuddle... So no we aren't there quite yet.
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Personally, I think that you make a very interesting point that others here have tended to belittle without much serious consideration. During my long liaison including an eventually failed marriage of a combined 26 years, initially there were nights when we did 'sleep' together without sleep. Occasionally there were repeats but however many anyone has of such events, it cannot detract from the absolute value of the complete bonding that they imprint on both participants. Spanksx
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The only time this has ever happened to us has been when we've not been able to do it. For instance we've only met in a pub without a place to go after although in the early days we often found some places to have a some form of quickie, even on the street etc although now we would probably be a little less 'obsessed'. We even made love (and I am using that word intentionally as it was not rough at all) pretty much straight after my seizure. I really wanted/ needed it and I am glad he didn't refuse. However it would be fabulous to be able to spend so much time together that we would just be so spent (or whatever reason) we would just want to cuddle... So no we aren't there quite yet.
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We all have our own reasons
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Hello
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Personally, I think that you make a very interesting point that others here have tended to belittle without much serious consideration. During my long liaison including an eventually failed marriage of a combined 26 years, initially there were nights when we did 'sleep' together without sleep. Occasionally there were repeats but however many anyone has of such events, it cannot detract from the absolute value of the complete bonding that they imprint on both participants. Spanksx
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