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aliljaded 53F
23941 posts
12/15/2017 9:29 pm
What Do I Owe?

What Do I Owe?

I spend an awful lot of time thinking about what my Dominant is to me. He is my strength, my comfort, and my friend. The list goes on and on. I think he would say I was meticulous when it came to vetting. I wanted to know that he was not only willing, but wanting, to be all the things I needed him to be for me. But what about the things I’m supposed to be for him?

You’ll hear time and again here on Tumblr, about all of the things you should expect your Dom to be for you. The ways he needs to step up that are non-negotiable. There have been a few posts lately by people I admire that have gotten me to thinking about the role that I play for my Dominant. Where does my responsibility lie, beyond being cute, and perfecting that whimpering beg he loves so much?

I owe honesty. If I expect honesty in return, it’s my responsibly to present the real me from day one. Truth, truth, and more truth. There’s tact and then there’s dishonesty. If I pretend to be someone, or something, I am not, to win affection, that makes me a liar.

I owe clarity. I need to define my limits, goals, and expectations carefully and honestly. It would be unfair of me, and unkind, to wait until we’ve negotiated our relationship before defining my limits. This requires honesty, not only with him, but with myself.

I owe obedience. There is a difference between a negotiated level of brattiness in a relationship and disobedience. In the same way I expect him to provide structure I need to respond with obedience.

I owe presence. I need to be present for him just as he is for me. It’s unfair to ask for his time, attention, and effort if I am not willing to respond in kind. This includes an honest assessment of what I have to offer.

I owe affection. I can not expect that which I am unwilling to give. It would be wrong of me to enter into a relationship while waiting for the next best thing to come along. Plenty of people can thrive in a D/s relationship not based in loving affection, but that sort of relationship is not for me.

I owe respect. He’s earned it. When we first met I owed him fuck-all. But my submission to him is evidence that he has earned my trust and respect. Given that he has done nothing to betray that trust, and in recognition of all the thing I love about him, and the effort he puts into our relationship, I owe him respect in return.

I owe deference. I can not expect someone to lead if I am not willing to follow. I must allow him the opportunity to take the lead by deferring to him. Obeying only when it’s demanded of me is not enough.

I’m sure as I continue to meditate on my share of the responsibility my understanding will expand and shift, but it’s been a very humbling journey thus far. A sharp reminder that in a relationship the yolk of responsibility is a burden meant to be shared.

pleasurewhore~


"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”


camperdude_69 63M
599 posts
12/16/2017 3:47 am

nice


aliljaded 53F
8847 posts
12/15/2017 9:35 pm

This and so much more.

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”



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